０９１１２０

アタシはすっごく悪い女の子と思ています。

そうな自分が嫌いです！

バカ！バカ！バカ！バカ！バぁぁぁぁぁカ！！！！アタシは大バカです！なんてそう簡単にあの人の彼女になるの？！てっゆうかアタシたちは今、恋愛関係なんですか？！ぁぁぁぁぁ～～～～～全然分からないよ！！！もう！

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school

I know you've never treated me as your real friend, neither have I. Because, you know, maybe our character is too similar. But, on the other hand, as the time went by, I find that you are usually imitating me, no matter what kind of clothes I like, what color I prefer, even the way I talk to others, you will follow me later. That's a kind of activities which I hate it very much.
And, what's more, since you've got a boyfriend, you began to show off what he has gifted you to me. Somehow, it's really a mean thing. Because everyone knows he is a ugly guy and he is such a petty. Even though what a luxury thing he's presented you, I will never admire and feel jealous.I just...I have no idea why you are so prefer to compare with me.
However, even if those above, we still always stay together and there are still many happy things between us.
 But seems things are turning worse now. You are the chairperson of the Student's Union. You talk about the people and events all about the Union from time to time. So the communicate between us is becoming fewer and fewer. Now, maybe our communication is less than 10 sentences per day.Never can you imagine how tired to be with you.

mature man

It was totally different to date a man who is working now.
He got a car and drived you to a beautiful hotel for dinner, he is mature and so considerate, he is not talkative, but he will stare at you quietly and directly.
In conclusion, he is so different with those boys who you have ever dated.

sonic boom[他没那么喜欢你]

终于勉强算是告别了颓废,重新回归到忙碌充实的生活.虽然还是会经常挂在围脖,GTalk和推特上,但白天上课时在底下自学日语三级,晚上匆匆赶去新东方 学NCE3,9点多下课后以散步的速度慢慢返回,这样的简单但不乏味的生活倒也不错.那天宿舍有个同学还跟我说:"最近觉得你好像很忙的样子."嗯,达到 我预期的效果了.;)

上周三与少娜上完ps选修课,因为老师提前下课,于是我俩突发奇想决定去华工散步谈心.我们去了西区运动场,然后又绕着西湖走了一大圈,期间少娜与我分享 了好多她与她男人间的种种有趣又幸福满溢的事,羡煞我这个单身了快2年的人.少娜的男人是个很好很好的人,我一直觉得如果一个男人能为了你克制住自己的欲 望那么久,那他一定是真的爱你的.连少娜自己都说,有时候看着他这样子,连她都觉得他好辛苦,觉得很心疼他.听少娜说,她男人说他一定会给她一个比生活在 那个豪宅里更幸福的生活(省略原因200字).她这样跟我说的时候,我能清楚看到她眼里满得要溢出来的幸福与甜蜜.
亲爱的少娜是个很可爱招人疼的女孩子,我很喜欢她,所以真心希望她能跟她男人修成正果.

今天早上跟父母出去喝茶,期间老妈跟我说,老舅要再婚了,问我是不是要当伴娘.我说当伴娘超过3次就嫁不出去了怎么办?然后我俩一起笑,笑着笑着我眼睛突然就湿了,赶忙端起茶杯喝水掩饰.
不知从何时起,我不再习惯在人前哭了,天大的事我都能忍着到一个人的时候再不出声地哭,然后擦干眼泪继续没心没肺地笑.突然想起以前有一次跟xbf打电 话,忘了是什么事,反正我就是一边跟他说话一边眼泪狂流,但我愣是没露出痕迹,所以他到底没听出我在哭.每次想想我自己都佩服自己.
其实到现在我一次伴娘都没当过,我为此无比郁闷地问过我妈好多次说为什么人家结婚都不请我当伴娘呀?然后我妈就跟我说:"谁让你长那么高,人家请伴娘都是 请那些比自己丑的来衬托自己,把你请去的话岂不是所有风头都被你抢走了~"听她这样说我心情就舒畅了~嘻嘻,老妈偶尔还是挺会讲话的~

最近其实也发生了挺多事的,之前发过[为什么明明我一直是被动,却越来越进入状态了?!]这样一条围脖,妖娆男回复我说[入戏了].其实他说得不错,我的 确进入状态了,甜言蜜语害死人.我总是这样,容易受到别人语言的影响.很多时候我明明知道那个人只是口花花,嘴上说得再动听也不能当真,还是那句话,谁认 真谁就输了.但我真的无法当作没听过没看过.也许少娜说得对,我是单身太久太累了,想找个人依靠一下.于是这个时候那个人趁虚而入,而我把他的话由听笑话 到当真,似乎也变得理所当然了.
但渐渐地我也慢慢开始明白,虚幻的终归是虚幻的,不可能变成现实.无论你嘴上说得有多动听,除了向我展示你花言巧语的能力外,别的什么也证明不了.乔小囧说的好:[男人在追女人的时候说：我愿为你改变，所有的改变只为了可以进入你的世界。当然，你把世界换成身体就是他的主要目的。]
其实很多时候我想要的也许并不是你在我上线的时候对我说你有多喜欢我多想念我,而是在我第一次一个人坐火车的时候发条短信叫我不 要怕,或者在我一个人在路上走着的时候突然收到的一条[在干嘛呢?]这样简简单单的短信.而你连这些都做不到,甚至在我生气不理你的时候你也只是发了2条 几乎一样的短信叫我不要生气,如此,你让我如何倾心于你.我是这样现实的一个人,怎会轻易被你简单几句甜言蜜语骗到.
一切就如那个电影名:他没那么喜欢你.
其实我知道的,你一早就为自己留好了后路.聪明如你,还有什么是没考虑到的呢?

在喜欢的作家博客上看到这样一句话:我对我的生命有种种严峻而浪漫的要求.
有种被瞬间击中的感觉.
希望自己能怀抱着心中小小的梦想,对自己的生命有种种严峻而浪漫的要求,有一个甜蜜的生活.

最后,感谢@oyjorange同学和可爱的Misaki酱帮我修改了斗真庆生文的语法错误.尤其是@oyjorange同学,你虽然整天欺负我,但有时候人还是挺好的...>